GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!

This Saturday was Frigby- the yearly football (like soccer but with less parental involvement) game between my college, the Froebel Zebras (pronounced "ZEBB rahs"), and the sister college, the Digby Lions (pronounced "LEE owns." Just kidding). And that is why is it called Frigby. Get it? Its a combination of the two. Froebel and Digby. Frigby.

This was my first ever real life game of football that I ever watched, but I still feel like I can tell that the players were crappy. I was also in somewhat of a sour mood because it is tradition
that all the fans bring waterguns and water balloons to soak each other before, during, and after the game. This would have been fine, except it is also tradition that it is always fucking rainy and cold in England.

To add to the expletives, the two schools have some very interesting chants and songs that they love to sing before, during, and after the game. I could join in, too, because someone near me gave me a cheat sheet. Here are some of my favorites- parental discretion is advised:

When I was just a boy
I asked my mother what would I be
Would I be Digby? Would I be Froebel?
Here's what she said to me:
Wash your mouth out son
And go get your father's gun
And shoot all the digby scum
Shoot the Digby scum!

----

They're Black, They're White, They're Fucking DYNAMITE
ZEBRAS! ZEBRAS!
It must be said, they're fucking good in bed
ZEBRAS! ZEBRAS!
And we all know, cuz we've all had a go
ZEBRAS! ZEBRAS!
They're yellow, they're blue, they smell of wee and poo
DIGBY! DIGBY!

----

(To the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic)
Digby Girls have got Cystitis
Digby Girls have got Cystitis
Digby Girls have got Cystitis
And crabs all in their pubes!

----

And that, as they say, is that. Never again can you complain about "Rock and Roll Part Two." Oh, and by the way, Froebel lost in double overtime 3-2. We just didn't chant "When I say DIGBY, you say CUNTS" quite loud enough.

- Lunn

THING I FORGOT TO BRING TO ENGLAND: A raincoat. But I wouldn't have worn one anyway.

FUNNY THING BRITS SAY WRONGLY: A pharmacist is a "chemist." I learned this after a cystitis scare.