I'm Alive!

Sorry- I was trapped in a hole. I am out, but my eyes will take weeks to adjust to sunlight.

- Lunn Dunningland

In case you wanted to know...

Oh and by the way, i think the Sweden video is working again.

Rock and Roll and Toilet Bowls

Well, the new band has officially made £5.98 ($11.72) from our first gig playing in the shopping centre of Kingston, London. Of course, this doesn't count the £3.60 Laura and I spent on buses getting there, or the celebratory £1.09 ice cream we bought afterwards. According to my calculations, we will only have to play 930 more gigs to raise enough for our Europe Trip, and only 504 gigs if we scrap the ice creams.

In other news, I am getting kicked out of my dorm for some conference and I have to move to another dorm about a half mile away. Good times. Hopefully the new one will have better plumbing- but I doubt it. For being so much geographically closer to the Romans, England sure has some work to do in the doo-doo department.

Take for example the oddly-shaped commode in my dormitory (photo at right). You can't really tell from the picture, but it is built in such a way that it becomes a quite effective blowhorn, letting everyone in the tri-borough area know what you had for dinner last night.

Also, the sinks: the whole "one spigot hot, one spigot cold" thing has got to go, especially when one is scalding hot and the other has chunks of ice flowing out. Is it too much to ask to have one warm one in the middle? You leave me no choice- I shall boycott washing my hands until the problem is solved. Take that!

Lastly, and this is getting really picky, but there never seem to be any trash bins in the bathrooms. If I am going to boycott clean hands, I better have a nice place to put all of my germy tissues.

And that is about it for now. I am starting to wrap up my time here (only seven school days left). I hope everyone is doing well, and I apologize for wasting your time talking about bathrooms.

- L.Dunn

THING I FORGOT TO BRING TO ENGLAND: CNN.com. Well, at least I intend to leave it here when I go back to the states.

FUNNY THING BITS SAY WRONGLY: I am currently teaching a music unit, and I found out the hard way that Brits don't use Quarter or Eighth notes, but "Crochets" and "Quavers." Which is totally an awesome name for a band.

How Have You Managed Without An Update On My Life?

Hi everyone. I feel a little like an absentee father. I included some extra money in your birthday card.

My ladyfriend and I have found ourselves in a little bit of a conundrum (she's homeless, I'm poor) but we have managed to find a solution (and our calling in life). Instead of drowning our sorrows away with wine, why not play the wine glasses on the street corner and make loads of money? Brilliant, eh?

I will let you know how it goes. In the meantime, if anyone has a good idea for a killer band name, send it our way.

- Lunn Dunningland

How British I Am!

Listen- hear that sound? Oh, wait, you don't hear anything right now. That's because the rest of the campus is off for summer holiday! No longer will I be serenaded by the sweet sounds of peeing and puking and doing coke below my bedroom window each Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night.

Now before you start thinking I am a big ol' fuddy duddy and holing myself up in my room away from any cultural experiences, just listen to how British I am:

- I own an Amy Winehouse CD.
- I know how to correctly use the term "cheers."
- I have begun to develop a sense of superiority over the Irish.
- I yell at my students.
- I eat Polish candy bars like every day (you can't go two blocks without passing a Polish corner store).
- I don't look at people as I pass them on the sidewalk.
- I eat potatoes like every meal.
- I mind the gap.
- I understand the differences between Great Britain, Wales, the United Kingdom, and England.

Just kidding on the last one. . . which means I can add "I have a friggin amazing sense of subtle and absurd humor." WOO-YUP!!!

- L. Dunningland

Cricket Is Rubbish

I spent the entirety of today chaperoning my primary school's cricket team as they competed in the city tournament. Not knowing one thing about cricket before the day started, I knew I was in for an educational experience. This is what I learned- cricket is rubbish. This is why:

1. It is named “Cricket,” which sounds like a Midwesterner trying to pronounce Croquet, also a total crap game.

2. Remember when playing kickball, how you'd always have those twits who would bunt, knowing that it was like an automatic single (Ben Burwell, aged 9, I'm looking in your direction)? Well, that is essentially how you can score in Cricket- you hit the ball to any of the 8 or so huge gaping holes surrounding you. You don't even have to run- the referee will give it to you. Which brings me to my next point...

3. In fact, nobody ever really does a whole lot of running. Or physical activity, really.

4. The people who really care about it are still bald, past-their-prime jocks. Given the above reasons, this seems even more pitiful.

5. Because of some archaic scoring system (didn't they learn anything from tennis?), you don't know who won the game until it is over and the scorekeeper finishes tallying everything, which takes about 6-8 weeks.

Mostly, I am upset because our team lost in the championship.

- Lunn

THING I FORGOT TO BRING TO ENGLAND: Respect for other cultures.

FUNNY THING BITS SAY WRONGLY: In an totally interesting fluke of linguistics, when British kids are explaining anything, they will say "yeah?" at the end of every sentence. It's sort of like a little check up- "Does that make sense/You with me?" kind of thing. One example:

Me: Hey you! Charles! Stop talking or I'll lock you in the closet!
Student: I do say, that would be simply poppycock! I dare ask, why, kind sir?
Me: You were fighting with Fredrick VIII.
Student: Nuh uh! Mr. Wilkinson [they still don't know my name]! We were playing, yeah? And I like walked by him, yeah? And I tripped into him, yeah? And he pushed me, yeah?

Kind of exactly like that.