Kiruna Tourism

Hallå from Sweden! I'm sure you all have been worried sick about your dear ol' pal Lunn. Well fear not, dearest readers, I am alive and well. Extra well, in fact, because I have spent the last week or so in Sweden. Aside from my photo-op with the Swedish Swim Team (right), not a whole lot has happened, and that was perfectly fine with me.


I arrived in Kiruna (say it "kee roo NA!") after a lovely trip up to top of Sweden. The city was very cute, even with snow on the ground. It is a town of about 18,000 fine folks who speak Swedish and English (though whenever I would ask them, "TAHlar deux ENgleska?" they really seemed to think it was funny to answer some form of "yes" in Swedish, forcing me to once again ask if they talar deux engeska'd.)

Kiruna was built around this monstrosity of a thing: an iron-ore mine that you can see from everywhere in the city. It's the stereotypical "well, that there mine is our lives!" kind of scenario. People love it. The mine gives tours and brags about how much it has done to help the community, and the mine's first boss is basically seen as the founder of the city. And in the end, the mine won't just be creating one city, but two! How so, you ask?? Well, because of something called "subsidence" from the mine, the whole town is tipping over and needs to get re-located like a mile northwest. Kiruna v2.0 will even include a brand spanking new artificial lake, which I'm sure will also be named after the mine boss.

But whatever Kirunans may lack in environmental stewardess, they make up for in braggadocio. Their tourist office is full of pamphlets about the wonders of Kiruna. One pamphlet even asks the question "Could the LKAB [the mine] be considered one of the Wonders of the World?" Hey, it's not telling, it's just asking.
But it doesn't end there. The official Kiruna fact pamphlet Cold Facts About Kiruna states that, and I quote: "An idea was born that became far and away the most successful tourist concept of all time, the IceHotel."

Now, I don't have any official statistics, but I'm just wondering: is The IceHotel- a hotel constructed out of ice each November and melts in April, really "far and away" the most successful tourist trap? I mean, OF COURSE it is #1. That is no question. But "far and away"? Take a look at what rounds out the list, and see what you think:

MOST SUCCESSFUL TOURIST CONCEPTS OF ALL TIME:

1. The IceHotel, Sweden
2. The Hajj, Mecca
3. Those "Somebody who loves me went to ______ and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" stands
4. Shopping Malls, many locations, mostly in New Jersey
5. Prostitution, Mesopotamia
6. NASA, The Moon
7. Having Spices, Far East
8. Riverfest, Beloit, Wisconsin
9. White Flight, USA
10. Wall Drug, South Dakota


Any thoughts? Ok, this post is getting far too lengthy. I may try to continue it later. Have a wonderful evening, everyone!

- Lunn

THING I FORGOT TO BRING TO SWEDEN: A charged phone.

FUNNY THING SWEDES SAY WRONGLY: Basically everything.